Maybe if it hadn’t been raining,
I wouldn’t have got out of bed.
to cut and slice
Deep into green rivers,
making them turn red.
I’d think twice, if I’d seen the sun
Instead of puffs of hopeless grey.
I might have made
My last breath come to life
On a different day.
But the wind just kept on whistling,
Taunting me away from sleep.
And the sound of water
As it made my windows weep.
I didn’t feel cold anymore,
My blood ran away from my brain
And red drops reminded me
Of how I said
I hated the rain.
I thought I saw you, and almost said “hi” but stopped
In time, because I realised, like you do
That it wasn’t you, just the unlucky fool
Who had bought your clothes from the charity shop.
At once, he and I were united it seemed,
Not because we’d both had our hands
Undo your jeans,
But rather because we’d both had
A choice, yet stupidly chosen you.
Unknowingly we let you into our lives
(and our bedrooms) and close
To our innocent skin.
Unaware of how close
To hatred we’d been.
We try and throw memories away
But they just follow us anyway.
Like chewing gum on the sole of your shoe
Tainting each step we take, to
Try and make a better life
Embarrassing us along the way.
Until one day
They’re so old and rotten
That they almost become forgotten,
Like a night full of bad dreams
Just like those sunbleached, blue jeans.
Why do 1100 miles seem more to you
than 2,000 kisses between us?
How can 7.5
hours by my side
mean less than 45 minutes on a bus?
Why are 2 hours on a plane
against 2 years of me and you?
I just don’t understand,
how holding my hand can’t be
enough reason to see it through.
You see, to me,
times you held me tight
I adored, and they mean more to me
than those 100 stupid fights.
It was you that gave me 405 dreams.
What gives you the right
to end the distance
and give me
an infinity of sleepless nights?
The black note on your piano,
you touch me now and then,
and lemon in my throat, when I hear
you’re playing her again.
Pushed aside, out of your mind,
to make room for someone new,
suddenly I find myself
second in the queue.
I’m the yellow in your rainbow,
pale against her crimson red.
Feeling blue, knowing you
filled my side of the bed.
Feeling like I’m never going to be
at the front of anyone’s mind.
I’m the broken credit card you try
a couple of times
to find it’s still declined.
Desperately seeking affection
in the arms of anyone
who would cross the line.
I’ve left a string of broken hearts
only to realize they’re all mine.
It’s broken in two
It’s because of you
Sex and sadness at 1am
Blood rushing so fast
Just recalling the past
Your touch is my Cardizem
I’m thinking of you
Do you think of me too?
In your mind though out of sight.
Fingers wet like a tear
Knowing you’d live in fear
If I were to die tonight.
Please break me in two,
Like I’m asking you to.
I don’t care if it causes me pain.
So, this poor heart
That you’ve broken apart
Can maybe feel whole again.